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  • Writer's pictureTailorMade

Befriend Yourself

Keywords and phrases:

Befriend: become a friend of, especially when a person needs support

Fiscal year: a 12-month accounting period

Remedy: treat, fix, solve

Tricky/trickier: difficult to manage, hard to understand or deal with

Sneak up on: appear without warning

Tolerate: endure

Snowball: to become bigger and bigger with time

Tap into: to connect with, join a network or community

Empathy: compassion and understanding

Before we get into this month’s theme, I thought I would introduce something that I’ve been encouraging in classes recently; asking-two part questions. Simply put, two-part questions involve asking two questions in a single sentence. The easy way to do so is by connecting questions with the word “and”. For example, “ How did you first hear about the product and how long have you been using it?” This can be useful in a meeting or at a conference when you may only have one opportunity to ask a question. I will provide a couple examples in this talk. So, let’s get started:

As we enter into the last two months of 2022, it is a time when many of us become busier with deadlines, closing the fiscal year, issues related to tax, and of course, social events. As a result of these added activities, we can sometimes feel overwhelmed. Why do we feel that way, and, why is becoming overwhelmed sometimes hard to manage?

Well, like any issue, whether it be physical or psychological, we must start by identifying the problem. For instance, if you have a strained muscle, it is quite natural for us to first notice the pain or discomfort and take steps to remedy the issue. We may rest the muscle or do light stretching. And, over time, the muscle will return to health. On the other hand, mental health is much trickier. Sometimes the “pain or discomfort” is not noticeable and it often sneaks up on us. Why? Because we all have some built-in defense mechanisms that allow us to tolerate a certain amount of stress. The problem with stress is that it snowballs little by little and we sometimes get to a point of feeling overwhelmed.

This is a time when we may need a friend or family member to whom we can turn for support. The problem there is that they, like us, may be dealing with their own issues and not have a great deal of time available to offer support. Who can you turn to? How about befriending yourself. What does that mean and what does it in involve? Let’s take a closer look.

It is quite simple, but we sometimes overlook the technique because of its simplicity. Once you recognize an issue, take some time to talk to yourself, just as you would if you were talking with a loved one. Tap into your empathy and be understanding of the issue. Imagine that you are talking with your friend and simply exchange the you with an I. For example… you I will get through this, as you I always do. You I love challenges. You are I am a strong person. You I can handle this.

If you have not tried this before, it may seem strange at first, but it really can be helpful. Try building this into your daily routine, which may help you recognize the issue even before it gets to the point of becoming overwhelming.

In short, we must all learn be good to ourselves and treat ourselves, just like we would treat a good friend. Thanks for listening. Have a wonderful November.

Wishing you health and happiness, always.

Mark Tofflemire

Tailor Made Inc. or

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